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Is there a Grinch, but for Valentine’s Day? If so, then I am that Grinch.

Bah humbug to Valentine’s Day, I say. Now, you’re probably saying to yourself “Whatever, dude, you’re probably just single.” Which is true. But even when I’m in a relationship, I hate Valentine’s Day, albeit for different reasons.

Regardless of my own personal history of romantic trainwrecks, though, the simple fact is that love — the subject of 90% of all rock songs — often stinks.

In fact, according to the great wisdom gathered here, love doesn’t just stink. It also, hurts, bites, will make you hate yourself, will make you go your own way, and will tear you apart. Now, I ask you, does that sound like a thing you want?  Or does it sound like a list of side-effects from a drug that hasn’t been approved by the FDA yet?

And yes, these are classic songs. Why? Because I’m old and stopped paying attention to new music sometime during the Obama administration. But that’s ok because truth — in this case, the truth that love is for suckers — is eternal.

So all you misanthropes, lonely hearts, and single peeps, I see you. And I understand. Here’s a soundtrack for our Anti-Valentines Day — couples not invited.

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